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A Modest Proposal

I offer a modest and very brief proposal in today's L.A. Times to the Minutemen who have just announced another border sweep.

In case you're not a Times subscriber I rerproduce my offering below:

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MODEST PROPOSAL

Minutemen, grab your hoes and march north

           By Marc Cooper

MARC COOPER is a contributing editor to the Nation and a columnist for L.A. Weekly.

         October 16, 2005

THE LEADERS of the anti-immigration Minutemen have begun another monthlong sweep along the Southwest border, searching for illegal aliens.

But a rugged, mountainous desert border is the toughest place to find large groups of the undocumented. These guys should stow their binoculars, fold up their lawn chairs and head not south but, rather, north to California's lush Central Valley.

All the Minutemen have to do is go up to the flyspeck towns around Fresno or Bakersfield, get up around 4 a.m. and watch the thousands of illegals mustering for a day's work picking, packing or pruning our basic crops.

The illegals have no access to welfare programs, so it's either work or go home. If the Minutemen were smart, they'd trade in their side arms for a pair of gloves and a straw hat and simply take those jobs back from the illegals — even for a month. Just get out on the highways and offer themselves up to the labor contractors and, boom, our illegal alien problem is over.


What red-blooded American employer wouldn't rather have a reliable, English-speaking, patriotic and military-fit crop picker than an undocumented Mexican from who-knows-where? Because they volunteer their time now, the Minutemen should appreciate making the farm labor standard of approximately $7 an hour (the state's minimum wage is $6.75), nine hours a day with two 10-minute breaks and a half-hour lunch. The state guarantees some drinking water and a porta-potty. And there are no bothersome deductions for healthcare or dues for unions because there is virtually none of either.

There are risks. Earlier this year five immigrant farmworkers died of heat exposure. But the summer's come and gone. And this is the season when the Minutemen can step in and make the difference. Drop your weapons, pick up a hoe and save America. -- + --
   


 

28 Responses to “A Modest Proposal”

  1. Marc Cooper Says:

    Most of this debate has little to do with reality. That reality is that we are in currently in the midst of what demographers recognize as the LARGEST, SINGLE MIGRATION IN HUMAN HISTORY. There are currently some 11 million “illegal” Mexicans living in the U.S. Maybe 14 million. Over the next 15 years, even if the Mexican economy slightly improves (unlijely), you can estimate about another million per year making it into the U.S.e’re talking 25-30 million people in a 20 year window. The world has never seen anything like that.

    This is what happens when the richest economy in the world shares a 2000 mile border with a country of 150 million whose economy continues to implode.

    Anyone reading this blog who believes that -put in the same position as a Mexican dirt farmer– he wouldnt do whatever necessary to come here for a job is just plain in denial(and would be apretty irresponsible father or provider).

    To believe there is some techno-legal way to “close” or “seal” that border is, I am sorry to say, to understand absolutely fucking nothing. You might as well try to build urban shock absorbers to avoid earthqaukes, giant city-roofs to to fend off rain, or if you prefer, earthen levees to stand against Category 5 hurricanes.

    That doesnt mean we standhelpless before a human tide. Rather it means you drop the bullshit from-Mars rhetoric about sealing the unsealable and you find a rational way to control, regulate and manage the best way you can something that is inevitable. Put 2 million troops and 50 foot barbed wire along the entire border if you wish — and if you can afford the tax the American people the billions it would cost. Then watch illegal aliens: dig two mile tunnels, form networks to corrupt American border gaurds, and build an endless flotilla of seacraft to wash up on the shores of California, Oregon, Texas and Florida.

    What would u do to feed ur family and escape a Oaxacan village where ur best shot was to make $40 a week? Don’t make me laugh.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    “Wages and working conditions would have to improve to some degree in the labor markets currently populated by illegals in order to draw employees. ”

    Organize the ‘illegals’. There’s no good reason a liberal should oppose their organizing, they’re here now and working, no changing that reality. Besides, who cares if they’re ‘illegal’. How many millions of us are descendants of ‘legal’ immigrants who could come here because the legal immigration of millions of Chinese workers was cut off? What does it mean in America to be ‘legal’ really?

  3. bunkerbuster Says:

    Reg hits the nail on the head in saying that the Dems could turn this to their advantage.

    On immigration, like so many other issues, the Republicans are vulnerable to the observation that they are against economic freedom.

    While the internationalization of labor is inevitable, driven by the nearly complete globalization of capital, the empowerment of global labor is emphatically not a forgone conclusion.

    The migration of global labor cannot be halted or even significantly slowed without imposing unbearable costs on the economies involved. The real issue is how to manage that migration so that the benefits are shared by workers on the bottom rung across the planet.

    Democrats have an opportunity to make the connection between global labor rights, U.S corporate responsibility and rights for U.S. workers. This is a difficult, nuanced position and, at the moment, politically risky. But there is no more important economic issue and the party that gets it right will, eventually, win broad support.

  4. Rich Says:

    What reg said, what Richard said, and what Rockford said. I agree wholeheartedly. Criticizing Americans for not working $7.00 an hour for jobs that no American family can live on? That’s ludicrous, Marc. We probably all agree here that we are in an unsustainable position with respect to the dual-edged problem of illegal immigration and immigrant abuse. I’ve said this here several times, and I’ll continue to say it, ad nauseum: if agribusiness did NOT have access to cheap (cheap because illegal) labor, then agribusiness would simply have to pay more to attract workers to do taxing labor–in essence, letting a free domestic market respond naturally. Again, just like in any other market industry. Can’t compete with other countries whose ag industry takes advantage of labor that is dirt cheap? Guess that’s just tough luck, in the same way it’s tough luck for any worker who’s been downsized.* Otherwise, friends, it’s a feeding into a not-inevitable race for the bottom. I think this is unsupportable.

    This might sound snarky, but weren’t we just arguing recently about how “progressives” can actually give vocal support to issues that the majority of folks care about? Ways of reaching across to red state folks who commonly vote Republican because of issues such as this one? I’m not arguing for Minutemen-style demonization of undocumented workers (give me a break–I worked as an immigrant advocate for years), but I believe there are much more effective ways of engaging the public (including those sympathetic to the Minutemen) on this issue than simply attacking these fringe groups, and identifying once again with the loser position of “defending illegals”. Why not put in this corner the companies who are actually responsible for exacerbating illegal immigration? It’s possible, I suppose, that Marc is being truly sly here: he’s challenging Minutemen to do the work that undocumented laborers are doing, thereby drawing national attention to the labor abuses themselves, thereby forcing us to attempt to resolve the issue not by simply focusing attention on the border, but rather on the locus of abuse: the exploitation of workers. But let’s be clear about one thing: the problem is not that Americans don’t want to do agricultural work for $7.00/hr, but that companies are able to get away with paying a wage so low by cheating the market through illegal hiring practices. Cripes, what American couldn’t get behind that? On the other hand, putting our eggs in the attack-the-Minutemen-support-immigrants basket sounds like an approach straight out of the Gospel According to Answer. Yikes.

    *Of course, Rockford has also brought up in previous posts on this issue that U.S. agribusiness can compete by utilizing improved farming technology–i.e, increased mechanization of labor. This kills jobs, of course, but the jobs were essentially “outsourced” (read, performed by undocumented labor) in the first place, so no net loss.

  5. Jim Rockford Says:

    Marc — glad to see you got in the LAT.

    However, my own modest proposal is to hire Mexican journalists for minimum wage, no benefits, and drive wages in journalism to the lowest possible level. There are plenty of hard-working Mexican journalists who would glady work in the US for much less than American journalists.

    Any takers?

    I agree with Reg 100% on this. I can’t say more than that.

  6. reg Says:

    Might I add that focusing on the food production and processing, garment, restaurant and hotel industries would – I think – be the key to dealing with this. Simply beefing up policing of the border as an answer isn’t feasible and some of the “border solutions” like building a “Great Wall” aren’t desireable or practical for a variety of reasons. Deal with it on the level of supply and demand, which is what’s driving the situation as it stands. Reverse the equation. And don’t trip on trying to ferret out yard workers and domestics…who really cares about that ? No 100% solution, but clamping down on the trend in the most glaring segments of the labor market might well be possible IF there was a political will. Any response coming from any direction depends on that. I do think the Dems could turn this to their advantage without proposing stuff that either singles out the poorest and most defenseless among us as the villians in this scenario or simply caves in to ethnic lobbies.

    Our immigration policies are among the most liberal in the world. I don’t think we have anything to be ashamed of in the “welcoming immigrants” department, except that we’ve allowed special interests – mostly of the business variety – to override any attempts to find effective ways to enforce the laws.

  7. richard lo cicero Says:

    Bravo Reg! You said everything I could say on the subject except that I’ll add the info that, thanks to Bush’s suspension of Davis-Bacon there, the majority of laborers in the Katrina area are Illegals. Why the Left dosn’t scream and yell over another slap at Black America is beyond me because there should be no doubt as to the identity of the screwed over here. And make no mistake about it. Retreat into the “We can’t can’t live without Immigrant labor” won’t stop the Tancredos of this world and the new combination with “Homeland Security” (all those Arab terrorists in TJ you know) will only make this the GOP’s last stand all that more effective. So let’s come up with some answers. I’ve suggested real employer sanctions and an understanding with Mexico that the safety valve is shut, A joint development plan is in order but that means real reforms South of the Border -enforcement of their labor and environmental laws that are fine on paper for one thing – in order to qualify. One thing I know, the present situation is unstable and will lead either to open borders (unlikely) or legislation that will make 187 look enlightened.

  8. reg Says:

    Excellent irony…but are we on “the left” (or whatever, because I mostly share your disdain for the self-annointed “left”) supposed to just shrug our shoulders and add our voices to the chorus of “Americans won’t take those jobs”, add some PC wishin’ & hopin’ about the importance of farmworkers’ organizing (improbable organizing that’s even less likely to happen precisely because the workers are illegals) and move on.

    Personally, I think this is a bargain with the devil and not doing anyone any favors at all in the not-so-long run – not even the desperate folk who slip over the border for the promise of exploitation. I don’t have any easy answers, but frankly anyone who’s not shamed by the working conditions that guarantee availability of super-cheap raw ag produce – or disgusted by the parallel destruction of an organized working class in the meat-packing industry – needs to check their fundamental values. I’m not accusing anyone here of this, but “normalizing” exploitation of immigrant labor isn’t a solution.

    I don’t know exactly what a solution looks like – and I’m adamantly against draconian measures like 187 that punish entire families in areas like basic education and access to health care that have nothing to do with the circumstances of the parent’s employment or immigration status, but I know that if employers were afraid to hire illegal immigrants because of more intensive regulation of the labor market, several thing would happen. Far fewer illegals would try to cross if they couldn’t easily get jobs. Wages and working conditions would have to improve to some degree in the labor markets currently populated by illegals in order to draw employees. Legal immigration could be increased if real labor shortages existed in lower-wage markets, which would be a boon to at least a segment of people who currently seek those jobs via illegal immigration.

    I don’t think that our borders should be ignored because of “imperialism” or any other leftwing cliches. Nor do I think that American citizenship – or (shades of Pat Buchanan, although my interpretation of this phenomenon is wildly at odds with his) our national culture – is meaningless. Far from it.

    I also think it’s idiotic – politically and pragmatically – to view the U.S. labor market as an essential safety valve for the failures of the folk who run Mexico and routinely oppress and exploit their own people, rob their state coffers, and oversee a corrupt and often openly terroristic military/police apparatus.

    A few cents, admittedly far from definitive…

  9. cenizo in Austin Says:

    Even though the North won the Civil War, we still live in and on a plantation. The Miniature Men of today are no more likely to work the fields than were the slaveowners of old. Both prefer to sit on the porch, or the border, rifle in one hand, cool drink in the other.

  10. Michael Balter Says:

    Good stuff, and not as hypothetical as you might think! During one of Cesar Chavez’s grape strikes around Delano during the 1970s, some locals tried to fill in for the farmers–and didn’t last an hour in the hot sun.

  11. Nell Says:

    Bravo, Marc! One of your very best.

  12. mikey Says:

    What is more likely, the Minutemen taking up Marc’s call to hoes or the Republicans taking up Tamar Jacoby’s call to pragmatism (also appears in today’s LA Times opinion section) regarding our border, er, policy?

  13. WMD Says:

    And what tool could be better suited for a Mini-Man than a short-handled hoe? Helps you stay fit and keeps those back muscles strong. Try one and feel the burn!

  14. rosedog Says:

    Excellent! Bravo!

  15. Virgil Johnson Says:

    Excellent witty proposal Marc, one of the best I have seen. Gee, think of what we could do if we reproduce similar proposals:

    All you supporters of the Iraq war, you know the ones with the “Support Our Troops” on the backs of your massive SUV’s. Sign up with Uncle Sam! Be a real hero, and lend a helping hand in Iraq!

    For Arnold – hey Arnold, I have an idea. Switch you governator hat for that of a schoolteacher! It could be just like Kindergarden Cop – show those teachers how to do their job’s. Why, we could drop you off at one of the inner city schools, especially one of the liguistically challenged ones in a poverty stricken area, and you could make short work of it! Show them how to collect those performance bonus’you proposed!

    Etc. , etc. – hey we could start a trend here :)

  16. richard lo cicero Says:

    Reg beat me to it again but I will acknolege that the immigrants who come here are hard working and do it for their families. But that dosn’t exonerate businesses that exploit them, or expect us to pick up the costs of these people like health care or who won’t support the infrastructure of schools, housing, etc. involved. I know that real employer sanctions will be hard given who pays what to whom but simply saying that they do work no one else will do is a cop-out. What jobs couldn’t be “de-salaried” to that level? Just remember that a generation ago the janiors and maids in LA buidings and hotels were Blacks and in unions. We know what the situation is now.

  17. Michael Turmon Says:

    >>My only minor quibble with you posting anonymously is

    >>that you give yourself away by telegraphing every familiar

    >>”steve” foible with such consistency that it takes all of the

    >>fun out of it.

    Why, that Reg must be a latter-day Sherlock Holmes! I have no idea what tics he’s referring to…

  18. marky48 Says:

    Less than American journalists? You’re obviously not talking the editors I am about signing on.

  19. reg Says:

    Incidentally, steve, I wasn’t criticizing you for posting anonymously – I was criticizing you for arguing tangents and straw men when I countered your citing a Zogby poll as evidence African-Americans are “liberal” on immigration compared to most others , when in fact the most significant and general indicator on the Zogby poll showed exactly the opposite (majority black support for a moratorium on legal immigration, no less, by very high margins even over whites). When I called you on this you did a dance around the issue at hand – conjuring all sorts of tangential things that I supposedly “believe” – which was, quite frankly, ridiculous – rather than simply admit that your selective use of the poll was deceptive (the piece you isolated from the data also showed blacks aren’t disposed to punishing illegal immigrants’ kids by denying them educational opportunities, which doesn’t strike me as contradictory or surprising given the particularities of black people’s history.) My only minor quibble with you posting anonymously is that you give yourself away by telegraphing every familiar “steve” foible with such consistency that it takes all of the fun out of it.

  20. reg Says:

    “Who knows who Reg is…?”

    With perhaps an occasional curious exception, the same number of people who could possibly give a shit.

  21. Anonymous Says:

    Reg, you’re the pot calling the kettle black, you yourself post anonymously!! Who knows who Reg is, no email address, no homepage, just someone who posts as ‘reg’. you could be hillary or howard for all we know.

    steve’s right, you don’t have any way of explaining why the INS would suddenly enforce your rules to protect “American” workers and to punish employers who hire “illegals”.

    Probably the best book ever written on the games of the border control agencies is this one by Peter Andreas

    Border Games: Policing the U.S.-Mexico Divide, Cornell University Press, 2000 (paperback

    edition 2001).

    Pick it up or order it from Amazon…

  22. reg Says:

    “drop the bullshit from-Mars rhetoric about sealing the unsealable and you find a rational way to control, regulate and manage the best way you can something that is inevitable. Put 2 million troops and 50 foot barbed wire along the entire border if you wish”

    Marc…I respect your views and sympathies on this and you’ve done some excellent reporting on the issue. Also you’re right about scale and intractability of “the reality” as well as why people cross the border in droves, but you’re also constructing a straw man here because I’m not aware of anyone so far on this thread who’s proposed building a wall or putting 2 million troops on the border. I specifically rejected that route, just as I reject draconian stuff like 187 (I would, however, endorse a Swiftian modest proposal that if we’re going to withdraw education and healthcare from the families of illegals who are working here, we also cut off any and all access to education and healthcare for the entire families of people who hire them, with no exceptions. Now that would resolve the issue rather quickly and dramatically.)

    Maybe my belief that we can better regulate the labor markets that attract illegals is naive or impractical for some reason, but your response to the comments above reads as though you’ve ignored what’s actually been written. I had a similiar experience with “anon” above (no doubt Steve) regarding this subject on another thread and it’s frustrating to say the least – as you can attest from your own experiences with his penchant for tendentious mischaracterizations and strawmen. I’d rather hear why you think I’m full of shit, than why you think people who haven’t shown up as part of this discussion (and who I agree are full of shit) are full of shit.

  23. Randy Says:

    Just start arresting the farmers (explorters) who are working illegals. What is the real problem here? Who is breaking the law? Consent between the worker and the farmer, illegal consent (don’t touch this) between the government and the farmer to work illegals, consent from the produce industry, markets and finally from the populas because “We The People” don’t want to pay higher prices for
    produce. We Americans talk a lot but are not willing to be accountable and be responsable for the outcome. It’s called working to improve working conditions! We have become a bunch of Sniveling hypocrites who hire immigrates to mow our laws and let or kids grow up believeing they are above doing such paltry work and now US and our fat kids do fall out at the end of a hoe on even a mild day. Over the years Americans have become a bunch of people who raise kids and say “we want better for our kids” and we have raised a bunch of complaining, unaccountable wimps who knows the definition of humility and knows how to defend their dignity with nothing more than words. When it comes to being humble and acting the part Americans and our kids don’t participated in much of it. We raise our kids not knowing the real values of WORKING, and then bitch about others coming in and working positions because we and our kids are above working for so called “fair pay”. Our government continues to do dudely squat about it. In other words America “If Your Gona Play You Got To Pay”

    What about incorporating some values and take responsability for improving the vision and worth in “WORKING” and pull ourselves up by the boot straps and do something about it, like pay better wages to the poor working classes and stomp out loopholes our legislatures and the government feed the the misers with.

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  25. Rolling Says:

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  26. Julian Bellerose Says:

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  27. Cleotilde Crookston Says:

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  28. Nkosi Gole Says:

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A Modest Proposal

NOTE: This is Andrew Gumbel signing off after five days of guest-blogging. It's been real. Thanks, Marc. See y'all in cyberspace.

Remember how, in the wake of 9/11, Clear Channel radio drew up a list of songs it no longer considered appropriate for airplay because they were unpatriotic, or offensive, or simply in bad taste? Top of their list was John Lennon's Imagine, which you have to admit is indeed a mawkish, revolting rejection of all the values this country holds dear and could only, in those anxious days, have served to offer aid and comfort to the enemy.

Clear Channel's unwavering sense of public service went far and deep. Out went Jerry Lee Lewis's Great Balls of Fire, The Bangles' Walk Like An Egyptian, Jump by Van Halen,Talking Heads' Burning Down The House and many, many more. Sometimes, this culture just needs to be saved from itself, don't you think?

Well, the country once again finds itself in times of trouble, and although the danger is now from the forces of nature rather than al-Qa'ida, I think it might be opportune once again to review the songs liable to pop up on the radio dial and purge the ones that are unhelpful — or worse — when a full-force hurricane is wreaking havoc along the Gulf coast for the second time in a month.

I've been going through my music collection and can' t help but be struck how shockingly irresponsible most of the artists are when it comes to disaster preparedness. Any time a singer-songwriter mentions a hurricane, in fact, the impulse is not to clear out but to move toward it. Take this typically blasé piece of sentimental tripe, an old John Hiatt tune (also covered by Aaron Neville) called Feels Like Rain:

Batten down the hatchesBut keep your heart out on your sleeveA little bit of stormy weather, that's no cause for us to leaveJust stay here baby, in my armsLet it wash away the painAnd it feels like rain

He actually finds the idea of riding out the hurricane romantic! Quick, run a FEMA tractor over his CDs!!

The Cowboy Junkies, in Southern Rain, even stoop so low as to make fun of people who follow government evacuation orders:

And it will never cease to amaze meHow a little rain can drive folks crazyWhen I'd trade all my blue skies gladlyFor your blue eyes, crooked smileAnd a steady downpour

Well, that's the last time I listen to them.

The Animals got into trouble after 9/11 for We Gotta Get Out Of This Place. Four years on, I'm altogether more exercised about the one that begins "There is a house in New Orleans"¦

Haven't they heard? No there isn't!!

There's so much more: Bruce Springsteen vowing to drive all night "through the wind, through the rain" just so he can buy his baby a pair of shoes (Drive All Night). Tell me about it when he gets tossed off the freeway and comes sobbing to the great teat of Mamma Government for a new truck"¦ Or Neil Young berating himself for not loving his hurricane better and wondering why he keeps "getting blown away". WHY DO YOU THINK, YOU MORON?

People, we are in a national emergency, and I can't do this on my own. My resources are limited, and I need you to help me compile an exhaustive list of suspect songs so we can prevail upon the good souls at Clear Channel to do the right thing -- once again. These are dark times, and the numbers of the valiant are few.

You will help me out, won't you?

25 Responses to “A Modest Proposal”

  1. Marc Cooper Says:

    Thanks very much Andrew. I know I speak for all the readers when I tell u what a great job u did, Many many thanks. Now it’s time for u start some full time blogging == MARC

  2. Todd Says:

    Great job, Andrew. Your comments on the inmates “left behind” in Nawlins made it into my blog.

    The Junkies, however, still rule. ;>

  3. John Dicker Says:

    When The Levee Breaks by Led Zep.

  4. laura Says:

    “without you” by the dixie chicks: “i’ve sure enjoyed the rain, but i’m looking forward to the sun..”

    no? doesn’t work, does it?

    ah, well. i tried…

  5. laura Says:

    got it! “riders on the storm,” the doors.

    still no?

    all right, all right …

  6. Abbas-Ali Abadani Says:

    laura: “‘riders on the storm,’ the doors.”

    One of the greatest songs of all time (as with pretty much anything by the Doors), but no, you’re right. It doesn’t work.

    I was thinking “Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner”, but I honestly don’t think I’ve ever heard it played on the radio.

    “Water, water everywhere

    and all the boards did shrink

    Water, water everywhere

    nor any drop to drink”

  7. rosedog Says:

    Hi, Marc! Great job, Andrew!

    Okay, Andrew, in answer to your heartfelt plea, we did what we could:

    SITTING ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY, by Otis Redding, [indicates obvious and irresponsible unwillingness to respond to mandatory evacuation]

    HURRICAINE by Bob Dylan [well, the title alone….plus I’m sure Bob Dylan should be banned just on general principles]

    COLD WATER by Tom Waits [Depicts another poor person and no-doubt looter who chose NOT to evacuate thus causing no end of problems for authorities]

    Well I woke up this morning

    With the cold water

    With the cold water

    With the cold water

    Woke up this morning

    With the cold water

    With the cold water

    With the cold

    Po-lice at the station

    And they don’t look friendly

    Well they don’t look friendly

    Well they don’t look friendly

    Po-lice at the station

    And they don’t look friendly

    They don’t look friendly well

    They don’t…

    LAKE CHARLES by Lucinda Williams [Promotes returning to storm ravaged areas prematurely. Shocking!]

    He had a reason to get back to Lake Charles

    He used to talk about it

    He’d just go on and on

    He always said Louisana

    Was where he felt at home…

    …We used to drive

    Thru Lafayette and Baton Rouge

    In a yellow Camino

    Listening to Howling Wolf

    He liked to stop in Lake Charles

    Cause that’s the place that he loved…

    LOUISIANA 1927 by Randy Newman [I'm sure we can all agree that this song should be banned first of all in that the chorus in particular shows a hideously partisan attempt to blame Bush administration for Rita and Katrina aftermath.]

    Louisiana, Louisiana

    They’re tryin’ to wash us away

    They’re tryin’ to wash us away

    [While we’re at it, it’s probably wise to get rid of Randy Newman altogether, too. He’s clearly a subversive fool who doesn’t adequately understand the dangers of the situation. To Wit:]

    I THINK IT’S GOING TO RAIN TODAY by Randy Newman

    Broken windows and empty hallways

    A pale dead moon in the sky streaked with gray

    Human kindness is overflowing

    And I think it’s going to rain today

    TRAIN UNDER WATER, by Bright Eyes [The dangers posed by the younger generation of songwriters like, Coner Oberst, are almost beyond calculation.]

    ..So don’t be fooled, so don’t be lied to

    Love was always cruel

    And don’t act strange, don’t be a stranger

    It happened to me, now it’s happening to you

    But if you take that train underwater

    Then we could talk it through…

    [With that kind music on our radios and iPods, fellow citizens, the hurricanes AND the terrorists win!!!!]

  8. Andrew Gumbel Says:

    Wow, Rosedog. Wow. Laura, I can’t help feeling you are right about The Doors — though perhaps the song that condemns them most roundly is Alabama Song. I mean, it sounds just like those lushes in the French Quarter of New Orleans who stayed and drank instead of clearing out like good, responsible, upstanding citizens:

    Show me the way to the next whiskey bar

    I tell you we must die

    I tell you we must die

    Nihilistic, counter-productive nonsense if ever I heard it. You know, they gave Brownie a hard time but just imagine the chaos if Jim Morrison had been put in charge of FEMA. The guy couldn’t even take a bath without incurring disaster…

    Keep ‘em coming, everyone!

  9. rosedog Says:

    PS: Obviously, I don’t mean, by the above, to minimize the devastation we’re again seeing on our TVs today.

    On another topic, I just got a call from a friend who’s standing near the White House watching today’s anti-war demonstration as everyone marches by. He says it’s much, much larger than he, the skeptic, had ever imagined it would be. Several hundred thousand people at the least, is his best guess.

  10. laura Says:

    “rain squall,” richard buckner

    “raindrops keep fallin on my head,” burt bacharach

    “raining in port arthur,” by the gourds

    (really, i couldn’t make this up.)

    this afternoon I walked out into a ditch the crawfish stirred the water the papermill blew in on the Southeastern wind and it was raining in Port Arthur I pulled a dead limb from a fallen pine the sun was dropping on the lower Neches valley I called the do

    admittedly, i found that one on google, but i mean, really, what are the odds?

  11. steve Says:

    “He says it’s much, much larger than he, the skeptic, had ever imagined it would be. Several hundred thousand people at the least, is his best guess.”

    Ah yes Rosedog, but they’re all screaming vegan hippies shouting for the restoration of Emir Hoxha, dontcha know that? And Amy Goodman is at the front of the crowd. And they’re spitting at the troops to boot!

  12. Anonymous Says:

    U.S. BARS ROBERT FISK FROM ENTERING COUNTRY

    The internationally renowned correspodent for The Independent — the great British Fisk_1 journalist Robert Fisk (right) — has been banned from entering the United States. Fisk has been covering war zones for decades, but is above all known for his incisive reporting from the Middle East for more than 20 years. His critical coverage of the Anglo-American invasion of Iraq, and the continuing occupation that has followed it, has repeatedly exposed U.S. and British government disinformation campaigns. He also has exposed how the bulk of the press reports from Iraq have been “hotel journalism” — a phrase Fisk coined —

    http://direland.typepad.com/direland/2005/09/us_bans_robert_.html

  13. Anonymous Says:

    The internationally renowned correspodent for The Independent — the great British journalist Robert Fisk — has been banned from entering the United States.

  14. Mavis Beacon Says:

    I’d like to see them ban American Pie. Their heads would explode.

  15. Babs MacFarland Says:

    Pretty good job, Andy. I’ll give you a C+. Sure’d be bloody nice if Rosedog could be the permanent sub, but I understand the pay is not what it used to be.

  16. richard lo cicero Says:

    Well I guess we could add “Galveston” and “Stormy Weather” to the list. Sorry but all the good ones have already been taken. Maybe ban the movie “A Mighty Wind” . . .?

  17. rosedog Says:

    Andrew, “Babs” is totally messing with you. But, no matter. I know where she lives, in case you have any desire to be…like, you know…vengeful.

  18. Andrew Gumbel Says:

    I was going to threaten to grade her blog comment entries, but I gather the pay for that is not what it used to be, either.

    Anyway, C+ isn’t bad. Good enough to get elected president, if I’m not mistaken.

  19. Mickey Dink Says:

    Big A, you were fantastic. Too bad you can’t always do it for… uh… I can’t even bring myself to say his name. I’d be a regular reader of this blog if not for him. Email me at you know where the next time you guestblog so I won’t miss an entry.

  20. Daniel Doyle Says:

    Neil Young’s song “like a hurricane” is inappropriate. So is the folk song “City of New Orleans” as played by Willie Nelson, etc. on lots of classic country stations.

    Dylan’s “Hurricane” is a dumb idea too.

    Zeppelin’s “When the Levee Breaks”

    The Bands “Cripple Creek,” and “the Night they drove ol’ dixie down.”

    Glenn Campbell’s “Galveston” would be a crude play too.

  21. Hope Boylston Says:

    These are all to new. Let’s face it, the glorification started with “Stormy Weather.”

  22. laura Says:

    i agree with mickey. andrew, you are fantastic. thanks for the insightful, entertaining blogging …. A+

  23. Anonymous Says:

    The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

  24. Randy Says:

    Just start arresting the farmers (explorters) who are working illegals. What is the real problem here? Who is breaking the law? Consent between the worker and the farmer, illegal consent (don’t touch this) between the government and the farmer to work illegals, consent from the produce industry, markets and finally from the populas because “We The People” don’t want to pay higher prices for
    produce. We Americans talk a lot but are not willing to be accountable and be responsable for the outcome. It’s called working to improve working conditions! We have become a bunch of Sniveling hypocrites who hire immigrates to mow our laws and let or kids grow up believeing they are above doing such paltry work and now US and our fat kids do fall out at the end of a hoe on even a mild day. Over the years Americans have become a bunch of people who raise kids and say “we want better for our kids” and we have raised a bunch of complaining, unaccountable wimps who knows the definition of humility and knows how to defend their dignity with nothing more than words. When it comes to being humble and acting the part Americans and our kids don’t participated in much of it. We raise our kids not knowing the real values of WORKING, and then bitch about others coming in and working positions because we and our kids are above working for so called “fair pay”. Our government continues to do dudely squat about it. In other words America “If Your Gona Play You Got To Pay”

    What about incorporating some values and take responsability for improving the vision and worth in “WORKING” and pull ourselves up by the boot straps and do something about it, like pay better wages to the poor working classes and stomp out loopholes our legislatures and the government feed the the misers with.

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