The Three Dumbest Men In America

Much more is at stake in a bail-out of the American automobile industry than just the personal greed and general out-of-touchness than the three CEO's of Chrysler, Ford and GM. But people much more powerful than the WaPo's Dana Milbank totally reamed them for having shown up to beg for $25b in welfare via private corporate jets. People like the U.S. congress, for example, who were rather offended by the sheer stupidity of these three clunkers.

Then again, these are the same geniuses who crank out 4 million ton, 12 mpg Tahoes and Yukons and Denalis while Toyotas and Hondas whiz right past them. These are also the same guys who don't flinch from paying themselves 500 times what an assembly line worker makes either. So why all the outrage?

This debate shouldn't be about the taxpayers bailing out a bunch of incompetent greed heads who can't compete with a KIA. (WSJ writer Paul Ingrassia has this essay on the mistakes of "biblical proportions" committed by the Big Three over the last 30 years). This ought to be about the government aggressively intervening to save millions of taxpayers their jobs and to shield a few hundred million other taxpayers from a cratering economic depression.

And these three guys help screw it all up by winging in to DC in their private Gulfstreams.

You can't really argue with what the congressional leadership came up with on Thursday, basically telling the auto honchos to "get their act together" with a real plan for change and then come back and ask again politely for the cash they seek.

If history is any indication, these guys will be back in a few weeks with a Power Point featuring longer tail fins, more chrome, 19 inch wheels, Vibrasonic radios and three extra cup holders.

Actually, they got off rather easy. What Pelosi and Reid should have told them was that they should get back on their planes and take a long one-way ride to nowhere; that Congress would be happy to shell out $10 billion immediately to whichever company is the first to have its CEO resign right then and there.

I'm not going to waffle about this. The industry -- and its workforce-- must be saved. But the price extracted in exchange MUST be absolutely dazzling in its exorbitance. Immediate resignation of each company's highest level of management; imposition of strict new and highly escalated fuel efficiency standards; significant R&D into alternative fuel vehicles; a salary ceiling of $150,000 for anyone employed by the company; government purchase of at least 2/3 of each company's stock; deeply discounted sale of that stock to the auto industry workforce who would be empowered to elect new management.

And that would just be for starters. Now, guys, fly the fug back to Detroit.