Poker Face
Time for another coffee-break from debating war, empire and torture. Check out my new L.A. Weekly cover story about my weekend at poker camp with "bad boy" Phil Hellmuth Jr.
There’s plenty about Phil in the story, so let me tease you with an excerpt about my own playing during the weekend camp tournament:
I’m dealt a pocket pair of black 8s — a decent, playable hand when there are so many other players at the table. And I’m “on the button,” as they say, having the advantage of playing last, so I raise the minimum $100 bet to $300. All around me I sense the players checking out my hands, my strained neck, my flaring nostrils, my lying eyes. Truth is, I don’t know if I am lying, if I’m feeling confident or terrified, because a pair of 8s is actually a middling hand, neither real strong nor laughably weak. Am I bluffing or bulldozing? Shamelessly, in the middle of that play, I reach into my shirt pocket, whip out my smoke-lensed Maui Jim shades, take a deep breath, steeple my fingers and lean forward as if to signal, “I’ve got the nuts, suckers. Y’better fold.”
To my horror, only two other players fold on my raise. Four people call my bet, and the guy sitting to my right bumps up my raise with another $300, literally pinning me against the wall. I try to read this turkey, but my glasses have fogged up from my sweating. My pulse is pounding so hard, I feel like I’m going to pass out. I call the raise and play the flop. My throat dry, my head spinning, I keep calling the bets made on Fourth Street and then the river. When the guy with the silver hair who looks like Paulie Walnuts bumps the bet to $1,000, I fold and muck my cards. Only as I toss them to the center face-down do I fully realize that the final card was an 8 of hearts — I’ve thrown away three of a kind. Paulie the Raiser takes the pot with an inferior two pair. How hopeless can I be? Read the rest of the story, please…
I got in pretty deep putting together this special "gambling" issue of the Weekly. Here’s my interview with the avuncular Vin Scully of Poker, Mike Sexton.
And don’t miss my denunciation of the evil corporate campaign against Blackjack.
December 8th, 2005 at 10:52 am
I knew you were a goner as soon as you leaned forward! See you at the tables after I read your other tells from the Weekly story.
December 8th, 2005 at 11:01 am
LOL! The lean in, eh? I thought it was the flush blush and the sweat droplets.
December 8th, 2005 at 11:26 am
Great story. Very fun to read.
Though I can’t imagine how you keep a good poker face… Everytime you hook a fish, you hoot and holler and grin like a jackalantern.
December 8th, 2005 at 12:18 pm
Read ‘em all (a lot of free time this morning). Very fun, though I’m not much of a gambler.
That last article about MindPlay is interesting. You’ve gotta wonder how far this trend can contine – the house seizing even firmer advantages while presenting the illusion that you can still win big. Isn’t there a risk that the fewer times you hear stories about a buddy who went down to Vegas for the weekend and took home a couple hundred, the less interested people will be in gambling there? Or does the myth of opportunity so entrenched that nobody’s even paying attention to the odds? I guess tracking slot machine growth probably answers that question.
December 8th, 2005 at 4:10 pm
At the risk of soundling like I’m sucking up, that was a great article. I really enjoyed it and it kept me hooked from start to finish even if I don’t know what the flop, river, turn and Fourth Street are.
December 8th, 2005 at 7:33 pm
Yeah, you should have stuck it out but this sentence gives me pause “I’m dealt a pocket pair of black 8s — a decent, playable hand when there are so many other players at the table.”.
Pocket 8s aren’t a bad hand one way or another, black or red is obviously irrelevent, pocket 8s are actually more valuable playing heads up than at a large table.
December 8th, 2005 at 8:14 pm
Ed,, thanks for the comment, You are of course correct on btoh counts. I wasnt implying that the suits of the 8′s were relevant. And indeed, with so many players at the table, the hand was decent and playable. Heads up it would have been very strong. Thanks again.
December 8th, 2005 at 8:51 pm
This was your true problem – you put on the shades too late, should have had them on from the start — ditto for the sweat dribbles.
Always wear shades – sweat from the start, then no one knows what the hell you are feeling or looking at…..oooorrrrrrrr switch to the crap table…….my favorite…..
……good story, enjoyed reading it…..
July 25th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Kiss me w poker rurewx
July 27th, 2006 at 4:09 pm
blackjack ballroom blackjack ballroom
July 26th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
download poker calculator…
nice post! by the way, you can download a free poker calculator at poker-calculator.biz this calculator will help you to improve you online gameplay with all existing poker sites, since it works independently….
December 9th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
All Internal…
all internal…
May 7th, 2008 at 10:49 am
253e6b6f12d7…
253e6b6f12d754cf2d9e…
January 19th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
I just added your site to my favorites. I enjoy reading your posts. Thanks!